Weekend at Chouji's
by Winstrom Tourniquet the 4th
Summary: Team Ten is one member less, and that means trouble for their job flow, that is unless Shikamaru and his teammates can fool everyone into thinking Asuma is still in fact as alive as he ever was! Obviously a 'Weekend at Bernies' Parody in the making M 4 se
1. Chapter 1

I

"We are so dead!" Ino shrilled into her comrades ears. They stood before their late captain. She had found him lying there at noon, and now dusk was approaching. As a team, they did everything together, and so they mourned in this fashion until the daylight had left them. With a familiar groan Shikamaru lifted himself off of the mossy rock where he had settled himself on hours ago. From the tone of her voice, she didn't sound to be worried about some sort of physical danger that lingered in their captain's defeat. No, he knew her all to well, and her true reasons for crying were social. Out of their fellow Academy graduates Team 10 was the first to have a member die in battle.

Their Jounin Commander no less, the most well rounded and experienced companion they had. Shikamaru's mind found itself back in the ER hall in Konoha…It was a scene he visited often, never willingly. Bent and broken over a bench he had waited hours, it seemed like months, waiting for news on his beaten comrades. That night, years ago it was now, he never wished to repeat, or any scenario that bore its resemblance. He wouldn't have to carry his master to any ward, but a morgue. He felt sick, but he was the leader in times of Asuma's absence. Shikamaru was no longer a substitute.

"Ino, what do you mean?" He asked her. Sweeping her platinum locks out of her teary eyes she hesitated to answer.

"Asuma-sensei had plans, important ones…" She trailed off. At these words Chouji appeared from behind one of the dead trees that surrounded them. He looked dented and unsure of their plight. "He was to host a meeting regarding the Akatsuki we have been tracking. 4 other squads, and even the Hokage are set to be there."

"I'm guessing that it won't go over well with the rest of the village if they learn that the information we've been gathering for weeks all died with sensei." Shikamaru nodded. "Yes, I think that we might be quite looked down upon for this." he admitted sadly. Chouji leaned against the tree with a look of distain on his face.

"No matter how good we are as a team, without Asuma-sensei as our figure head we'll look like fools compared to the rest of our class." he moaned. Things were looking grim for the surviving team ten.

"Lady Tsunade will probably give the missions she had in mind for us to Team Seven now, even with Sasuke lost and their sensei bedridden, the name Kakashi is more valuable to clients than Shika-Ino-Chou." This struck a cord with the boys, they each felt guilty for the failure to capture Sasuke years ago. Shikamaru felt haunted, that first attempt at leadership had proven nearly fatale to his subordinates, was he ready to lead them now? Barely three summers had gone by, and what had he learnt? How to file a cabinet of chuunin exam applicants for one, but nothing close to that futile chase. He needed more time to prepare, and finally he understood.

"Time! We need to stall a turn or two!" he said, as if he was still playing board games in the shade with his master. Chouji stepped forward.

"What do you mean?"

"The news of Asuma's death hasn't reached any ears save ours yet. All we need do is hide it from the village until a better plan can be devised." His friends stood shocked at this idea.

"w-would that even work? I mean how would we-" Chouji fumbled.

"How long would we need to hide him? Where do we say he's gone?" Ino inquired. Those decisions would make or brake this chance.

"I'd say the weekend at least," Shikamaru bit his thumb. "As to where he is, the safest place is always with us." Chouji scratched his head.

"what do you mean with us? He's all limp…" he managed to lift one of his sensei's arms, letting it drop as he let go of it. Ino winched.

"I've thought of two possible moves for that," Shikamaru began to explain. "If we simply need for Asuma to hold a pose, nothing difficult, I can use my Kagemane to hold him in a position. For more risky situations, we can use your Shintenshin, right Ino?" She nodded.

"But it will look obvious if we hold our seals around him, we'll blow our cover really quick if one of us is always next to him using our skills." Chouji pointed out.

"Ah, I've thought that out too, we'll simply take shifts disappearing conveniently when we need to posses him. Hopefully though, we can keep him hidden from the public for the majority of the time I need to think things over."

"When was Asuma's meeting going to be?" Chouji asked. Ino Gasped,

"Two days from now! We'll have to host a entire report like that? Man, this is looking really hopeless." She slouched. Shikamaru laid his hand on her shoulder,

"Two days from now we'll have the whole village believing that Asuma-sensei is the biggest party animal in Konoha! Trust me, this will be our first mission without his guidance, I promise we won't fail it. How else are we going to prove to the Hokage that we can manage even without a Jounin."

"I suppose, if your leading us Shikamaru." she stammered. "Well, it's getting late, we'd better start practicing, but where?"

"My family's forest is hidden well enough, not a single danger to be found, well meaning or vile. Let's move him…" Shikamaru decided. Chouji picked up his teachers body and held him over his shoulder. His weight was no burden on Chouji's body, except maybe his heart. The remaining members of Team Ten sprang off into the dark, homeward bound. Together they would survive their losses.


	2. Chapter 2

II

"How's he doing back there Chouji!?" Ino called back to their lagging comrade. They were nearing Shikamaru's personal forest, where They would learn if this charade would be if at all possible.

"Better than you'd expect!" he called back. True enough, Asuma was a higher ninja of the Hidden Leaf, and his body had been prepared for the end of his days, to ward off prying spies seeking the secrets of his ninjitsu. Until this final seal was undone, his body would keep up the illusion that a flicker of life remained in him, although dead he was. Shikamaru signaled them to halt. Without a word he disappeared into the thicket, and moments later re-appeared on the opposite end.

"C'mon the gates open now." He beckoned to them. On foot they marched through the Nara family estate. Single file he lead them up the hill towards the more secluded regions. Carefully they carried Asuma's remains over a stream, small as it was, they took no risk of letting him touch the water. They knew all too well that any scrap of evidence that might wash down water could prove their un-doing. Chouji gulped, he had just know pondered the ramifications of their scheme.

"Shika, we could get into deep shit for this couldn't we?" he questioned his best friend. Shikamaru simply shook his head,

"Don't spoil your appetite over it Chouj, I plan on taking full responsibility in the event we're found out." at this Ino stopped in her tracks.

"Shikamaru, don't even talk like that, we wouldn't let you take the blame for all of our actions! We're behind you all the way. Team Ten!" She said softly. He could only smile, true friends he had found early in life. Friends of this kind, Shikamaru rarely found troublesome. (That was the best compliment he could imagine personally.)

It was nearing midnight when they reached the spot Shikamaru had picked for their experiments. It was shady enough during his cloud watching expeditions during daylight, that at night it provided more than enough cover. Chouji placed their late sensei in the middle of their circle.

"Okay, now what?" he grunted. Shikamaru thought a moment.

"I'll try out my Kagenomane, but it isn't very reliable, even in this shadow. I've got at the most enough Chakra to last an hour at most, and that'll have to be divided amongst the day." he sighed. Making the signs in his hands his shadow crawled underneath Asuma's body. Attaching itself to him, Asuma sprang up eerily. Ino gave a scream and jumped, knocking against Chouji's armor. He caught her, and their eyes met for a moment. Focusing back to Asuma, they marveled at his pose, it perfectly matched that of Shikamaru's. "T-This is troublesome. I think we'd better try out our other option. Ino your up!" he sat abruptly on the ground. Ino cracked her knuckles, making Shikamaru wince.

"Take care of me Chouji," She smiled as she prepared her technique. Suddenly she fell seemingly out of her body, Chouji caught her frame before it could hit the earth. Ino's consciousness found its way into Asuma's body, there it took command of his limbs, she gave a test walk around the circle, and gave a nod of approval.

"Guess you'll be taking up most of the acting then if you don't mind…" Shikamaru wiped the sweat from his brow.

"god Shika your worn out too fast." Chouji complained. "hey, I've just noticed, Ino can you blink while your in there?" after a moment she shook Asuma's head. "Can't talk either huh…" he realized. "I might be able to fix that a bit," he added. Chouji preformed his size change technique, altering his vocal cords. "How's that?" he asked in his best

'Asuma' Voice. Ino's concentration broke and she slipped back into her own shell, she found herself next to Shikamaru laying on the ground with laughter. After a minute they realized that they found themselves in a state of laughter for the first time since Asuma was found dead.

After a silence, they agreed to test out their plans on a small scale. Carrying Asuma off of the Nara grounds, Ino possessed him once again, this time Shikamaru guarded her vacant body. Chouji and his 'revived' master waddled into what was formerly Asuma's usual convenience shop. Ino felt awkward towards his steps which were much larger than her own. She had never held someone's body for so long before, usually their soul pushed her out of it after five minutes, but this wouldn't happen in their case. The pair were overwhelmingly nervous. Chouji bent down below the counter, as far as the cashier knew he was eyeing candies as usual. He gave a smile to Asuma,

"Ah, back at last my old friend. The usual pack?" the Shopkeeper asked. Quickly Chouji morphed his voice box to answer.

"Yeah, and pack of rubbers!" he announced, his voice almost cracking. This was the true test, to see if Ino and Chouji's performance was good enough to fool even Asuma's oldest friends.

"Ah, Kurenai and you at it again? Must be good coming home to something as sweet as that!" he laughed. Chouji covered his mouth with this hands to hold back his expression, which if anything would be loud. They left the store a quickly as they had entered it. Ino wandered back into her body, and shivered at her recent encounter with the old man. Chouji laughed as he swayed the bag in his arm, and Shikamaru shook his head, Phase one was a success.

"Okay, now we need to gather as much information about the meeting, where is it being held for one?" Shikamaru asked Ino.

"uh, my house, actually." Chouji choked. Planting his palm on his forehead Shikamaru sighed.

"Great, that's all I need right now, a weekend at Chouji's…"


End file.
